I called my friend the other day, and the first thing she said was, “Are you okay?” to which I responded, “Yeah! Of course, I was just calling to say hello.” This is becoming more and more common as people shift to different methods of communication… and there are so many. You could text, you could email, you could post on message boards, you could hook up to a WiFi Hotspot like this Solis (there are many options but this one is nice for International travel) literally in the middle of the desert on your laptop and video conference with people halfway across the world. So what happened to calling?
Frankly, from what I can tell, it seems that calling has become a little too personal. People have started to feel like the only people who are actually allowed to call them are family and personal friends… which is a message someone needs to give my friend, or I need to reassess that friendship?
It used to be, even in romance, that you would meet someone, get their phone number, and you would call them some time to go on a date. If you did that now, you would be considered a TOTAL creep by most modern dating standards. In fact, even texting has become too personal. As I speak to my younger sister I realize that this too has shifted, and now when you meet someone as a young person, they first give you their Instagram handle, on which you can totally send direct messages. Then once you do that for a bit, you can eventually evolve in text messaging and then maybe calling down the line.
Based on what I have been researching in various young influence blogs, it is actually more okay to send a video chat to someone via instagram or snapchat than it is to call. That seems completely backwards to me? How could it be more casual to go on video for someone than to just hear their voice?
The only possible explanation I have to this crazy phenomenon is that a video message is still at the discretion of whoever opens it and when they choose to open it and if they choose to respond. So it seems that we have evolved into a culture that values people’s time to a high degree, and does not allow for the urgency of answering a phone call that is happening in real time.
I think this is a very interesting phenomenon that we have developed. That we value people’s time so much that to call someone and “force” them into a conversation out of nowhere is actually considered rude, when there was a time not long ago where calling someone out of the blue to chat and catch up was not only polite, but showed the promise of a good friendship and relationship.
I personally love calling people still. I love to chat on the phone. Whenever I am driving that is my activity. However, I have learned very quickly that the only people I can do that with are people that have explicitly given me that kind of green light, otherwise I get a response like I did from my friend, where she thought my spleen was actively evacuating my body. Keep this new etiquette in mind as you explore your relationships, new and old, and see where your friends stand on calling, because calling… might be officially dead.
